Comments on: Marriage and Matrimony – Aren’t they the same thing? http://blog.theologika.net/2008/10/31/marriage-and-matrimony-arent-they-the-same-thing/ Thoughtful Reflections on Religious Experience Sat, 24 Jul 2010 15:27:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Rafael Pozos http://blog.theologika.net/2008/10/31/marriage-and-matrimony-arent-they-the-same-thing/comment-page-1/#comment-466 Rafael Pozos Mon, 03 Nov 2008 16:26:12 +0000 http://blog.theologika.net/?p=956#comment-466 Interestingly enough when a couple marries in France, they have to go to City Hall to get married first. Only then can they go to a church to get the marriage blessed. In Italy, you have a choice. You either go to City hall, or to your minister if your faith, or confession as they call it over there, has been recognized by the state. That's part of what has allowed more countries over there -- even the traditionally catholic ones -- to recognize same sex marriage. Also too, it's ironic that when a marriage fails and one or both parties remarry, it's an anathema, or curse on the parties for not having gone along with God's law. This is interesting because nearly every prayer in Latin or Spanish I have read imploring God's grace is written in the subjunctive mode, which these languages use to talk about possibilities -- something English does not have a direct verbal sense of. Therefore, while we make the commitment and the celebrant asks that God may strengthen the commitment, it's not totally a sure thing that it's going to be there. Yet the church treats it as though it is a sure thing every time and is nowhere near open to the possibility that said union cannot be what God wants. It makes a show of doing it via the anullment process, but it appears half hearted at best. We're supposed to be about promoting god's grace as best we can. Denying same sex couples the right to marry as well as cursing couples who divorce and remarry does not promote that in my not so humble opinion. Interestingly enough when a couple marries in France, they have to go to City Hall to get married first. Only then can they go to a church to get the marriage blessed. In Italy, you have a choice. You either go to City hall, or to your minister if your faith, or confession as they call it over there, has been recognized by the state. That’s part of what has allowed more countries over there — even the traditionally catholic ones — to recognize same sex marriage.

Also too, it’s ironic that when a marriage fails and one or both parties remarry, it’s an anathema, or curse on the parties for not having gone along with God’s law. This is interesting because nearly every prayer in Latin or Spanish I have read imploring God’s grace is written in the subjunctive mode, which these languages use to talk about possibilities — something English does not have a direct verbal sense of. Therefore, while we make the commitment and the celebrant asks that God may strengthen the commitment, it’s not totally a sure thing that it’s going to be there. Yet the church treats it as though it is a sure thing every time and is nowhere near open to the possibility that said union cannot be what God wants. It makes a show of doing it via the anullment process, but it appears half hearted at best. We’re supposed to be about promoting god’s grace as best we can. Denying same sex couples the right to marry as well as cursing couples who divorce and remarry does not promote that in my not so humble opinion.

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