Marriage Feasts – Celebrating Together
“We only seem to get together for marry’ns and bury’ns.” (Spelling?) This comment was often heard as I was growing up when a wedding or funeral drew our large, extended family together. It was generally spoken towards the end of a gathering, accompanied by the sentiment that we really ought to get together more frequently, when we might have a bit more time to visit.
While the weddings were typically happy occasions, we had a great time at funerals too. It was sad to have lost someone, but so good to see family, tell stories, share favorite foods, play games, and get caught up on all that had happened since our last gathering.
Many families in industrialized countries do not live in the same town as others of their relatives. As a result, the times they gather are different than gatherings among people who see each other often and frequently get together. They can feel very hurried and way too short.
The type of family structure also affects the nature of such gatherings. In patrilineal or matrilineal families, for example, the only ones who are seen as family are those related through the father’s line or the mother’s line. The bride or groom marries into the spouse’s family, but the spouse does not become part of their family of origin. In Western societies, we typically trace our lineage through both mother’s and father’s lines. When we marry, both bride and groom enter a second family – each other’s.
The wedding feast Jesus, his mother, and his followers attended at Cana in Galilee was a family affair that included many guests. The bride was joining her husband’s family. It was a new beginning and important to show abundant hospitality to the guests – a matter of honor for the groom’s family to offer joyful feasting with plenty of everything to eat and drink. To run out of anything was a serious source of shame for his family, particularly since the bride’s family would be witnesses of the shortfall.
Unfortunately, the wine was running out. Wine was added to water to make the water safe to drink. The amount the wine was watered down might vary, but it was essential to have the wine. It wouldn’t do to have nothing to offer guests to drink.
Jesus’ mother noticed the problem. She told him about it, then instructed the servants to do whatever her son told them to do. What a leap of faith! Jesus didn’t think it was time for him to do anything yet. It was not his time. But Mary set the stage and he acted.
Water jugs for washing the feet of guests were not what one would expect to find used for wine. But Jesus instructed the servants to fill the jugs with water – just regular water. Then, he told them to serve it to the headwaiter for approval. The servants must have been very nervous about those instructions. The headwaiter was not going to be happy about receiving water from the washing-water jugs to drink! But somehow they accepted Mary’s vouching for her son’s ability to help and they filled the jugs with water, gave them to the headwaiter, and I suspect they were more astounded than the headwaiter to learn that the plain, old, everyday water had become fine wine.
“You have kept the good wine until now,” he said to the bridegroom with amazement. This observation sets the stage for Jesus’ mission. In fact, St. John says this was the first of the signs Jesus gave that revealed his glory – who he truly was and is. His disciples began to believe in him when they saw this sign. (Jn 2:1-11)
Why would this sign at a wedding signal the glory of the Lord present in a city in Galilee?
There is a history of weddings and the relationship between men and women, husbands and wives, in Hebrew religious tradition that points to the relationship God wants to have with humans. The prophet Isaiah speaks of this to the people who have returned from captivity in Babylon. The people who have returned to Jerusalem will rebuild the city and the temple. Their trust in God through their long exile will be vindicated, as God’s protection shines forth over the city like dawn breaking after a long night. Jerusalem’s victory is compared to a burning torch, shining brightly.
The people themselves, loved and freed by their God, will no longer be seen as forsaken and their land desolate. God has rescued them and takes them as his bride, the one loved and protected as by a husband. It’s a new beginning. A time for great joy. An example and blessing of human love and marriage. (Is 62:1-5)
And so, when Jesus begins his ministry of teaching and healing at a wedding, we see a new beginning for humanity again. Just as the bride and groom begin their new lives together, so humans and the Lord begin a new relationship as children of God, heirs of the kingdom. The messenger has arrived. The best wine is ready to serve. The story begins.
We have many new beginnings in our lives as individuals and communities. Sometimes the new beginnings go smoothly. Other times they are more bumpy. Sometimes people are happy with the change. Other times they have their doubts about it. Sometimes people get along with each other. Other times they find all sorts of things about which to disagree and argue.
The people of Corinth got to arguing about the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Which one was best? Who got the best gifts? Why did one person get a highly valued gift and another get one that was seen as humdrum and common? St. Paul reminded them that the gifts received from the Spirit were not a reward of any sort for good behavior. The gifts were from the Holy Spirit of God, given to each person in order to be used to help build up the community. One person might be called to offer wisdom. Another might be gifted with the ability to heal or to understand what the spirit is calling someone else to do. The gifts given to each person were only good insofar as they were used for the community as a whole. (1 Cor 12:4-11) Such controversies are not at all uncommon among people who live together and must find their way to agreement on what to do in any given situation. We look at a challenge and bring our own gifts to the effort to address it.
We are at a time in the world with many new challenges to address. Leadership of many countries is changing. The approach to solving common challenges facing communities and nations can vary widely. But it’s important to remember that we humans are loved like a bride by our God – all of us. As a result, we are called to love in return.
Part of that requirement of love is to listen to each other and honestly try to find ways to work together to solve common problems. How do we help those who have come to our homelands seeking protection? How do we help those who simply need work to support their families? How do we assure our fellow women and men that they and their children can get healthcare when they need it? How do we grow, harvest, and distribute food so that all can eat and grow to a healthy adulthood and old age? How do we find affordable housing for all? How do we educate and support our children, helping them grow to be loving, competent adults?
Just as at the wedding feast at Cana, Jesus is present when we invite him into these conversations. How will water be turned into wine in our lives? Will we trust him enough to put the water into the jars and take it out to those who will judge its quality and pass it on? Which gifts of the Spirit are we sent to bring to the conversation? Will we have the courage to speak based on insights we have received through the gifts we have received?
We are not just guests at a wedding this time. We are the Bride of our God, sisters and brothers of Jesus, children of the Father. May we always remember this and work to bring others into our family of love and support. The wedding feast has begun. It’s time to celebrate that love and take it into our world.
Readings for the Second Sunday of Ordinary Time – Cycle C
Read More